Ever since the Atkins diet reigned ubiquitous in high school, I had issues of restrictive + overindulgent eating. It never got to the point of bulimia, but I’d often call it overeating or emotional eating.
My friends would know me as the person who ‘always ate healthy,’ and wouldn’t believe me when I said I’d eat a lot of snacks or unhealthy.
Your Relationship with Food Dates Back Decades
When you’re young, you have self-esteem issues, more so for people with unhealthy family upbringings. So when it came to eating publicly (at media events, family gatherings, parties), it was easy for me to choose healthy foods.
But when night strikes, it’s like a monster came out of me and wanted all the things it was denied of during the day.
And I gave in. Almost every time.
It’s yet another shameful thing I felt like I had to hide from everyone, that stemmed from shame of not having a good relationship with family.
But recently, I made an INs/OUTs list for 2024, and I didn’t have Mindful Eating or Eat Whatever You Want on the list. I simply had “Solo Dates.”
So what did I do after a zippy Costco run that ended promptly at 10am? I went to fulfill my fantasty of sitting alone at a cafe, eating and drinking something. (Yes, parenthood will have you dreaming about the life’s simplest pleasures).
Choose Intentionally
Not only did I get a baked good (usually ‘healthier’ option of raspberry oat muffin) I got a DONUT! And COFFEE!
This was super indulgent for me because first off, I never eat ‘junk’ foods this early in the morning. And second, with a scarcity mindset upbringing that prevented us from ordering drinks at restaurants (“don’t waste money!”), I never get coffee if not for paying ‘rent’ to sit at a cafe to socialize.
I know, you’re probably thinking what is the big deal here with a coffee and donut.
But for someone who’s entire life was ruled by self denial, restrictive eating, and a scarcity mindset this was the equivalent of someone with arachnophobia facing their spider fears.
I know this was something I *needed* to do because I felt sooo goooood about it afterwards!
Okay, so as I’m typing this I’m having my daily green smoothie.
But the point is that I tried something completely out of my comfort zone, listened to my body, and my world didn’t collapse.
Intentional Eating Challenge
Now I’m gonna challenge you to try to eat something intentionally (something that’s not considered healthy), and hope that feels different in your body.
The most important thing is that you don’t approach the food item with an “I’m not supposed to have this/ I’m doing a bad thing/ I don’t want anyone to find out” mentality.
Go at it with an “I’m going to enjoy this/ I will taste every last bit of sugar/ I’m grateful that donuts (or your food of choice) exists for moments like these” attitude.
And with each bite, savour every sugar crystal (or salty punch), every last morsel of carby goodness.
It will make the world of a difference.
xo, Miranda
