I used to have the hardest time making decisions.
Why? Because I was a perfectionist, so I could never make not only the “right” decision, but the “perfect” decision. But economics tells us there’s no such thing as perfect information. And I logically knew it too. So why was it still so hard to make any step forward?
I realized that by thinking of decisions having only one possible best outcome, that was the wrong way to approach. Because there’s never the perfect time to start a business or have children. There isn’t a perfect way to launch a business or raise your kids. And no perfect number of products to produce or number of kids to have.
Know Your Roots (of the word), Decision
In order to reframe decision-making, we first need to understand what the word really means. In Latin, the word comes from decidere.
- de = off
- caedere = to cut
Meaningful HQ puts it this way: “To decide literally means to CUT OFF everything except the things that matter most.” I personally feel this still requires you to take an extra step to first rank things in order, which requires some sort of judgement to determine that one thing is better than another.
Making a decision kind of looks like this:
- DECIDE TO: Have kids
- MEANS SAYING NO TO: travel, sleeping in whenever I want, potential career advancements
So I offer you this other way to think of decision-making.
Your New Word for Decisions: Trade-offs
Start thinking about decisions instead as trade-offs. I know, it’s not an exact 1 to 1 exchange, but hear me out.
This works because when you think of trade-offs, the energy around it is a lot more neutral. When you think of the word, it’s already got pros and cons baked into it! So you don’t have to play God and judge what’s better.
You can apply this to the big trade-offs in life, “Should my partner and I have kids?”
- YES: we’ll be stuck with kids for at least the next 18 years AND we’ll get a lot of joy out of raising kiddos
- NO: we’ll get travel the world AND we won’t have any kids to take care of us when we’re seniors
Of course such a life-changing decision isn’t so black and white, but doesn’t it feel a lot more balanced?
When you acknowledge that any choice you make might suck but will also have some sort of silver linings, that you take the pressure off yourself to make the ‘right’ decision and just “play the hand you’re dealt with” – a hand that you chose.
Try It Out: Make a Trade-Off TODAY!
Here are some common forks in the road you’ll need to make, so I encourage you to just think about the pros and cons:
- Which restaurant should we go to?
- Should I buy the stock/plane ticket today or wait until it’s cheaper?
- What should I wear today?
- Should you order your go-to meal or risk trying the new item?
- Which Netflix/Amazon Prime/Apple TV (whatever TF channel you have) show should you watch?
- Should I respond to their text now or later?
Have fun trading off pros and cons!
xo, Miranda
